I didn’t want to be at Denny’s. I know that nobody likes the alumni who walk in and think they’re so cool. NO. NOT ME. I wanted to stay in the car until they were done with whatever, then go home. I know what they said about us not helping with strike, which turns my viewpoint. Now I’m pissed….
… I’m sincerely glad you came. At least to see you for a bit.
This is some personal rant. Ignore it if you’d like.
I’m so tired. When I get really tired, my synesthesia gets really sensitive and I start feeling numbers emotionally. I feel like multiples of three. I just want to have deep talks with everyone and it’s hard because everyone would much rather joke around and be funny. There are two sides of me, a conductor, and an engineer. The Conductor is the funny, easy to be around, likeable Armando, and the engineer is the logical, intellectual and insightful me that built the conductor so I could have a social life and grow as a person. Few people have seen the engineer, and it’s coming out. The engineer kind of blows people away at first, but it’s more of a personal me that rarely comes out. I can count on one hand the people that have seen the Engineer. It’s always an interesting experience. But I really want to talk to people. Tell them my views. Share my wisdom, or at least what I fake of it. I want people to see the engineer as a person of art, of poetry, and of logic. Heck, not even my girlfriend has seen the engineer yet. I can’t wait until she does, but she would have to initiate it. He doesn’t come out without some prodding. The stars usually do that. I love stars. I’m dying of no sleep. I get really indifferent at this point. I get to a point that I want to make stupid decisions for the sake of stupid decisions.
It’s pretty sad that when I’m with you I’m thinking about him and I know that your thinking about her.. Why are we even together? I know your only with me cus i remind you of her.. I want to be with someone who wants to be with me Because I’m me not because I remind them of the girl that they are in love with..